


Bow Chicka Bow-Wow! That's What My Baby Said!

by officialoperaghost



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 20:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7771630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officialoperaghost/pseuds/officialoperaghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>just another day at doofenshmirtz evil incorporated</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bow Chicka Bow-Wow! That's What My Baby Said!

Doofenshmirtz stepped back from his latest invention, pushing the goggles from his eyes onto his sweat-slicked brow and smiling at his reflection in the metal panels before him.  
“It is finally complete! Months of pain and toil and all of it worth it!” He paused and thought for a second, then shrugged. “Well, maybe slightly worth the toil but maybe not so much the pain - but finally! My Chicken-Putter-3000-inator!” He rubbed his hands together excitedly. “With this, I will be able to control every chicken in the Tri-State area - and put them in the fridge!” He threw back his head and laughed. “Imagine - families sitting down to enjoy their hard earned chicken only to find it vanish from their plates and appear back in the fridge! A true inconvenience!”  
The scientist got to work cranking a lever on the machine that opened up a front panel, revealing its hollow interior. “Soon the entire Tri-State area will be minorly angered by their moving chicken!” He crowed - only to feel the familiar sensation of pain on his face that knocked him to his feet. “Huh?!” He held his head and looked up at his attacker.   
The small creature stood before him, fists raised, eyes narrowed, fedora glowing in the sunlight inexplicably streaming in through a window Doofenshmirtz wasn’t sure was there in the first place, but whatever.   
“Ahhhhh! Perry the Platypus!” He scrambled to his feet. “Here to stop me once more! But you are too late! Soon I will have complete control of all chicken!” Again, he felt the pain across his face as the nimble little creature struck him again; he staggered but managed to stay on his feet. “It is no use, Perry the Platypus! My machine is already working hard and there’s nothing you can do to stop it!” He flinched as Perry took a menacing step toward him, his lil foot making a ‘pap’ sound on the linoleum floor.   
“I-I mean, unless you went inside the opening and disabled it. I’m sure that would do it.” He cringed behind his arms, expecting another blow, but it did not come. He peeked between the sleeves of his doctor’s coat and saw the platypus carefully regarding the machine. Then, the blue mammal slipped inside, stopping abruptly and gazing up at the mass of buttons inside. “Haaaaa!” Doof cackled, stumbling to the wall and throwing another lever. The panel slid back… Perry was trapped inside!!! 

 

\- 

“You have fallen for my trap, Perry the Platypus!” Doofenshmirtz cackled maniacally, leering at the critter through the handy window installed in the machine. “I mean, it was a pretty obvious trap, really, I don’t know why you would go running into a machine like that - hey? What are you doing?!”   
Inside, Perry was frantically pressing every button he could find, his tiny heart beating hard in his chest. If he was going to die, it would be on his own terms. And his terms did not include a chicken machine.   
“Stop! You’ll break it!” Doof cried. Perry ignored him and sped up his nimble fingers.   
“Don’t press that big red button at the top, whatever you do!” Doof yelled. Of course, Perry smirked and jumped up to press it. Immediately a gas started to fill the machine. Perry crouched to the floor, eyes wide in panic. Outside, Doof was laughing again.   
“Tricked again, Perry the Platypus!” He tried to press his face against the glass to gloat but his large nose stopped him. He made do with pressing the side of his face against it instead.   
“Rrrrg.” Perry clicked. He held his breath but being a mammal of approx 15 inches he only had small lungs so he took a tiny breath of the gas, cringing in fear and anticipation of what horrible poison Doof had laced it with. But instead he felt… peaceful. Happy, even. He took another breath and then slowly got to his feet, staring up at the pharmacist-ish guy through the glass quizzically.   
“Do not look so relieved, Perry the Platypus. My special gas should start working any minute now!” Perry watched in half-horror, half-fascination and half-lust (author’s note: bad at maths soreee xxx) as Doof began to unbutton his labcoat.   
“You see, my furry blue friend, you have been teasing me!”   
“Rrrrg?”   
“Yes, that’s right, don’t deny it!” Doof replied irritably. “Each day I invent something new just for you to come see me - so I can see that sweet ass!” Perry blinked. He was starting to feel very weird. A warm flush ran over his body, like a flush that was warm, and it made him warm. He was starting to get very hot under the fedora.   
“Day after day I see that sweet ass and there’s nothing I can do about it! But behold my latest invention!” He gestured at the machine wildly. “The Lust-Inducer-inator-ator!” Perry sank to his knees as Doof undid the fly of his pants, panting in desire. Doof caught him looking and grinned.   
“You see, Perry the Platypus, my nose is not the only part of me that is long and hooked!” Yoghurt slinger in hand, Doofenshmirtz smirked at the hapless creature in the machine. Seeing his squirmin’ Herman the one eyed German made Perry think just one thing: rrrrg. And it turned him on.   
“My gas will last for an hour but that is all I need - for now!” Doof pulled the lever again, and as soon as he did Perry was out of the machine and on that slong like sprinkles on ice cream. Doof wailed like a siren as Perry’s beak ran over his artful throbber.   
“Yessss, Perry the Platypus.” Doof screamed. “Eat this heat-seeking moisture missile like it’s the shrimp you eat 20% of your body weight in every day!” Perry’s ass was so wet it was leaking onto floor. The gas had made his love window drool like the rains in Africa.   
“Turn around, Perry the Platypus!” Doof demanded, to which the mammal obliged with an excited rrrrg. Doof positioned his schlong dongadoodle against his lover.   
“Are you ready, Perry the Platypus? Prepare to meet my weapon of Ass Destruction!” He screamed, slamming into the creature. Perry gasped and held onto his fedora as it nearly flew off his head. Doof fucked him madly for all of three seconds, screaming at the top of his lungs the entire time, before coming with the force of a fire engine hose. After fuckin’ like animals (or platypus and mad scientist) for hours on end, the duo lay in the convenient bed I just made up, Perry spooning Doof and gently pecking at his back in some sort of kiss. “Rrrrg.” Perry murmured.  
“What’s that? Your ass is haunted by my warrior of love?” Doof chuckled. “We may need to call in someone to deal with this Supernatural issue!” [author’s note: stay tuned for next week hehe ;-))   
“Rrrrg.” Perry agreed. After some silence, Doof sighed.   
“I have a confession to make, Perry the Platypus. The gas in the Lust-Inducer-inator-ator was not Lust Inducing.”   
“Rrrrg?”   
“That machine is not the Lust-Inducer-inator-ator.” Doof whispered, tears in his eyes.   
“It was… the True-Feelings-Revealer-inator 3000.” Perry blushed. Doof looked over his shoulder at the mammal.  
“Do… do you love me, Perry the Platypus?” The blue creature regarded the tearful scientist for a moment then held his hideous fuckin face in his tiny platypus hands.   
“Rrrrg.” He whispered tenderly.


End file.
